But she makes me feel like roller skating...

No one has ever called me graceful. I know I've mentioned it before, but my inability to remain upright and injury free is an every day battle. Just yesterday I was running for the tram when I was suddenly sprawled flat on asphalt - palms grazed, eyes watery yet stockings miraciously un-laddered. Other memorable splats involve me carrying a tub of yoghurt and a punnet of cherry tomatoes past the cafe in Town Hall, only to end up on my bottom with yoghurt everywhere and cherry tomatoes gleefully escaping.

So all of the above considered - why on earth am I even considering buying these?!

Catch of the Day has these cute little skates for $34.95. I have no idea if that's a good deal or not, all I know is I want them. But let's be realistic, I'm going to need wrist-pads, elbow-pads, knee-pads and possibly shin-pads if I want to get out of this unscathed. Somehow the visions I had of gliding along the Glebe boardwalk are fading into memories of failed attempts to ride bikes and painful falls at Skate Plus. Maybe I should give the skates a miss...

Wait.... email I just received from Oh about my yearning for skates "You can’t have those. It’s for your own good. When you can walk down the road without losing skin then we can think about it.". Well now I really want them.

Yell Fireeeeeeeee (and then run)

Reading Toni's post where she likened herself to a mixture of Frank Spencer and Bridget Jones, I couldn't help but recognise myself in her words. You see, I too am cursed with clumsy. And look, I'm sure people say that all the time.. but really, I am the clumsiest, most accident prone person you'll ever meet. I currently have a big, round graze on my knee the size of a fifty cent piece to attest to that fact.

I fall over around 85% of the time - find me a set of stairs, a ditch, heck just even some perfectly flat road and I'll find a way. Basically the more public it is, the more likely I am to fall in/on/over it. I once took an innocent cleaner down with me as I grabbed frantically for something to stabilise myself. Sorry!

(found at we heart it)

I also drop food down the front of my clothes a lot. Last week I managed to fling a piece of Chicken Tikka Massala off the table and onto my sweet blue, polka dot skirt. Today, I dropped a strawberry on one of the few white spaces on my dress - it's 90% black, but of course the strawberry had its sight's set on one of those few, pristine white patches.

It's a burden, this being clumsy, because you expend so much energy just trying to stay up-right and dignified. So you can understand my surprise, my horror, at my appointment to Fire Warden at work.
It hasn't been six month since I last caught fire (literally) and I'm prone to panicking, so surely this isn't in the interest of public safety?

And this is a picture of me, as Fire Warden, fleeing the building at the first sign of trouble.